During golf, a hell of a lot of cussing goes on. Before November 8, 2016, I was already notorious for my F-bombs. But ever since that day, my foul language has reached DEFCON 1. Even the C-bomb has now been fully accepted into my lexicon.

If I shank a shot, an expletive-filled tirade will usually ensue. The other day, on the 14th hole, the C-bombs were flying, prompting my husband to ask, “Do you hear yourself? What if I take you to a fancy country club?”

I simply replied, “In England that’s all they say.”

That’s when it hit me. I’m sick and tired of being shamed for cussing. Do people think we potty mouths haven’t tried to tone it down? Cussing is harder to quit than cigarettes. I’ve never smoked, but I’ve tried everything from meditation to hypnosis to get control of my language.

In the end, although I’m highly educated with advanced degrees and certifications in French, accounting, and finance, I come from a long line of bighearted but foulmouthed Americans. This shit is deep-rooted.

When I first moved to Paris, my love-interest attempted to “Pygmalion” me into his ivory statue. He succeeded in teaching me how to hold a fork and knife and behave in polite society, but he failed to cure my cussing. That said, he never shamed me for it. Europe is much more tolerant of self-expression than we are here. In fact, the Puritans or Protestants who colonized the United States are responsible for all kinds of shaming, including slut-shaming, and cussword-shaming.

The “seven dirty words” immortalized by the late, great George Carlin in 1972, are still banned on broadcast television and radio under FCC obscenity guidelines. The words are: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits, and the lesser-known fart, turd and twat. Nudity is also banned under these guidelines.

But when I moved to France over 30 years ago, there were no bans on cusswords. You heard the worst obscenities on sitcoms and talk shows. Not only that, national television commercials for products like body wash regularly feature gorgeous nude women soaping up their boobs in the shower, (which, oddly, never comes off as sexual).

In America, the Puritans, who believed it was ungodly to waste time, also indoctrinated our work ethic. To this day American workaholics forego billions in annual paid vacation, to our own detriment, and to the benefit of our employers. Whereas, in most European economies, four weeks annual paid vacation is codified into law, and citizens shamelessly enjoy that vacation time.

So, in my defense, as an incurable workaholic, technically I’m only half a sinner. If I shout well-deserved expletives at Republicans in the news, I shouldn’t have to burn in hell. After all, no one is perfect.

The Old Course at St Andrews, Scotland and ‎Canmore Golf & Curling Club, Canmore, Alberta, Canada

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